


Petty Revenge

by phantomthief_fee



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Basically just the archives staff fucking with Elias, Rated teen for swearing, it's what he deserves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:48:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22994977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantomthief_fee/pseuds/phantomthief_fee
Summary: Jon and the Archives staff decide to get revenge on Elias for his bullshit by being as petty as possible.
Comments: 12
Kudos: 88





	Petty Revenge

[@nonbinarywithaknife](https://tmblr.co/mxnhHMCmQXnV1W2ZnVx2f_g) had this great [post](https://nonbinarywithaknife.tumblr.com/post/190433285567/i-know-the-timelines-dont-work-out-but-i-would) and I wanted to write it. Because I live for pettiness.

* * *

There wasn’t a lot that Jonathan Sims could conceivably do to get revenge on the man who had essentially ruined his life. Jonah Magnus was rather hard to kill, as Melanie had discovered. But Jon wasn’t completely powerless when it came to vengeance. 

Because, as an avatar of the Beholding, he had access to the sort of knowledge that Elias likely didn’t want him to know. Specifically, everything that annoyed or inconvenienced him. And so, Jon had decided to get his revenge by being as passive-aggressively petty as he possibly could.

He’d told the others first so that they wouldn’t be caught off guard when he started doing this, of course.

“I’m not going to ask you to join me in this,” he said after explaining his plan. “But I also won’t stop you if you do want to participate.”

“Are you kidding?” Melanie asked. “There’s no way I’m missing out on the chance to make that prick squirm.” She had the biggest and most malicious grin Jon had ever seen.

This grin was echoed on Tim’s face. “Let’s give him Hell.”

Basira and Daisy exchanged a look, both nodding. The barest hint of a smile appeared on both of their faces. 

“We’re in,” Basira said.

“Martin?” Jon looked over at Martin. 

Martin was silent for a moment or two before also smiling. It was the smile of someone who was going to take great glee in being as annoying as possible. 

“I would love to.”

.

Jon and the other Archives staff started showing up wearing clothing in the one shade of yellow that made Elias’ eyes twitch. Shirts, pants, skirts, dresses, headscarves. Every time Elias saw one of them he had the urge to claw his eyes out. Perhaps that was a bit of an overreaction, but he **hated** that shade of yellow. He could tolerate it when only seeing for brief flashes. When his whole archival team was wearing it, though? He could not stand that. And he **knew** they were doing it on purpose. He **_knew_**. He didn’t need his Beholding powers to know that. The smirks on their faces were proof enough. 

Tim had even asked, “Something wrong, boss?” With the biggest shit-eating grin on his face. 

He and Melanie had come into work wearing matching yellow button-ups. 

“I’m alright. I was just…a bit caught off guard by that color,” Elias replied through gritted teeth. “It’s a rather bright shade of yellow, isn’t it?”

“Is it?” Tim’s grin widened. “I hadn’t noticed.”

“I just thought it’s a great color,” Melanie said, hooking an arm around Tim’s shoulder. 

Elias bit back the desire to say that they looked like a pair of mustard bottles. 

“Is it giving you a headache? Maybe you should lay down,” Martin suggested innocently. He looked the perfect picture of concern, but Elias could feel the smug satisfaction beneath that concern. 

“You know, I think I will.” Elias smiled tightly, turning to leave. “If you need me, I’ll be in my office.”

As he left the Archives, he passed by Basira, who was wearing a bright yellow headscarf. She didn’t even notice him, her nose buried in a book, but the sight of her headscarf made Elias walk faster.

Elias would have rather liked to dress code them. Except that they **weren’t** breaking the dress code, and it wasn’t as though he’d enforced the dress code with them before. They weren’t technically doing anything wrong, they were simply being nuisances. 

So, he simply stewed in his annoyance, trying to ignore the yellow garments whenever they popped up. 

Then they escalated things. 

Jon and the others began to order takeout from a number of places that the original Elias had loved to go to. The scent of the heavily fried food made his mouth water, but Jonah Magnus did NOT eat fried food. Besides, it was far from professional for him to be seen eating that sort of food.

He tried to ignore it the first few times it happened. But it kept happening. The archival team kept ordering food from various fast food places night after night after night until Elias couldn’t take it anymore.

“What on Earth is going on here?” He’d demanded, storming down as soon as he’d smelled the food. He’d tried to keep himself as calm and professional as he usually did, but part of him had been furious at these continued attempts to irritate him.

The assembled archival staff looked up from their food. It was burgers and fries from a local burger joint. It had been in business since the original Elias had been young. In fact, it had been one of the original Elias’ favorite spots to get food. 

“I thought it would be fair to order some food since we’re going to have another late night,” Jon replied calmly. “Is there a problem with that?”

Elias could feel the smirk hiding behind Jon’s placid expression, the silent taunt daring Elias to do something, to admit that he was bothered by this. Melanie maintained eye contact with him while she took a big bite of her burger. 

“You want one?” Daisy asked, holding a burger out to Elias.

Instinctively, Elias’ mouth began to water. He knew exactly what that burger would taste like. He remembered the feeling of the grease running down his chin while he lost himself in the salt and oil. Or, Elias’ body remembered it. Jonah Magnus simply cleared his throat and straightened his tie. 

“I think I’ll pass,” he said, smiling tightly. “But thank you for the offer.”

“Your loss.” Basira shrugged and turned back to her fries. 

Elias turned on his heel, storming back to his office. Peter was waiting for him, leaned against his desk with a huge grin on his face. 

“Not a word,” Elias snapped, sitting down at his desk. 

“Quite an interesting little game your employees are playing here,” Peter said, turning to lean toward Elias. 

“I believe I told you not to say anything.” Elias regarded him coolly. 

“First the clothes, now the food. It’s driving you crazy, isn’t it?” Peter looked absolutely delighted.

“Peter, I am not in the mood.”

“Do you think your little Archivist used his powers for this? Can’t think of how he’d know otherwise.”

Elias closed his eyes and began to take deep breaths, massaging his temples. He knew his employees were talking as well. Everyone in the Institute had noticed the archival little team’s war against Elias. And they were all rooting against him. No one else joined the archival team in their war, since they lacked the protection afforded to the Archives, but they were certainly in support of them.

Elias may have been able to force people to experience traumatic truths, but Jon could make him hear music too faint to make out but close enough that it disrupted his concentration. So, it balanced out a bit.

**Author's Note:**

> I live for fics where the other characters bully Elias, so I decided to write one myself.


End file.
